“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
- Mahatma Ghandi
I often read about how movement and its archnemesis “exercise” are touted as incredible supporters of mental health and wellness. No doubt they are. Research shows exercise is just as, if not more effective than therapy and medication combined in helping various facets of mental health such as anxiety regulation and the treatment of depression.
Don't take my word for it. Here are a bunch of articles discussing some of this research:
Truth be told, I am not awesome at explaining the neuroscience behind how exercise helps your brain function at its best, but the research is clear that it does.
Despite the evidence for its benefits, there is a certain amount of resistance that seems to come over folks when clinicians, doctors, and fitness experts talk about the benefits of regular movement on your body and mental health.
Even as I’m writing about it, I’m picturing a fitness guru with huge muscles, who is far too tan, wearing a tank top and thick glasses, flashing a huge white fake toothed smile while taking a selfie for his social media whereby he will put the words “No Excuses!!!!” underneath.
I don't know about anybody else, but I know I don't like seeing that guy. It just strikes me as too “in your face” and "look at me, look at me" and “rah rah, let’s go!” cheesy cheerleader-ish (no offense to cheerleaders, or, er, cheese). It just feels to be too much, it's not relatable, and it comes across as fake.
I’m not saying it’s impossible to enjoy exercise that much, as I’m sure there are people out there who wholeheartedly do. What I am saying is I do not believe it is the norm, despite what social media would have you believe. I also do not believe this "in your face" approach helps motivate people to be healthier. If anything, I think it pushes them further away.
That said, allow me to clean up my side of the street on this: Yes, as a mental health professional and person in recovery and athlete and human-being-trying-to-survive-another day-in-this-world, I work out.
I work out regularly.
I lift weights.
I run, sometimes jog, sometimes walk/jog.
Occasionally I do the elliptical or bike.
I move my body as much as I can, aiming for 150 minutes of cardio a week at my target heart rate, and aiming for a 3-4 times a week regimen of resistance training.
I’ve been an athlete my whole life and this is unlikely to change.
But what I wish to share, if not emphasize in big, bold lettering, is I don't always look forward to it, it’s not ever easy, and I often times don’t enjoy it while it’s happening.
In fact, there are some days I absolutely dread it.
There are some days I dread going, push myself to go, and then I’m happy I went.
There are some days I dread going, push myself to go, and regret it the entire time, but then feel good about it afterwards.
There are some days I dread going, push myself to go, regret it the entire time, and then absolutely say to myself afterwards, “That suuuuuuucked.”
There are some days I dread going, do not push myself to go, and don’t.
And then there are some days I want to go, and end up kill'n it! Those days are not easy, either!
My point is even as an athlete who has woven in physical movement on a regular basis for much of my life, working out is still hard for me to do and is an exercise in gaining mastery over, not my muscles, but my cognitions.
For me, every workout is a test of mental toughness and the test is this:
Can I get through something that is hard and unpleasant in the moment for
the sake of the longterm payoff?
The way I pass the test, and in fact the only way I have ever been successful at sticking to a regular exercise regimen, is through mental training strategies such as mindfulness and self-talk.
I know, I know. You thought those were just "therapy" words, right? I've learned these practices can be applied to most things, even, and in my case especially, exercise.
What this looks like is me self-talking my way through the entire process, and staying present in the moment throughout.
I have to self-talk my way through getting my workout clothes on, and tying my shoes. Then I have to self-talk my way through stretching. Then I have to self-talk my way through the warm up. Then comes the self-talking my way through the reps and the more reps, and the sets, and the muscle groups, and the sometimes never-ending 15 minute miles that often consist of walking breaks because my brain gets the best of me and thinks I’m going to absolutely diiiiiie if I don’t stop to walk.
I self-talk my way through my work outs. It's the only way I will get them done.
It’s not physical strength that gets me through. It’s my mental capacity to tolerate, endure, and push through the "hard" and displeasure in favor of getting to the other side of the longterm benefit.
Self-talk is only part of it. Another mental training strategy I use to get me through workouts is mindfulness.
I have to focus in on the moment of each individual rep, taking them one by one, because to think of completing an entire set is overwhelming and makes it far too easy for my brain to say, “Nope, can't do it.”
How does mindfulness and self-talk work together during my workouts? Here's an example:
Before a weight lifting set, I sometimes stall because the thought of an entire set feels
too hard. So I begin by telling myself “just pick up the weights and do one rep, just one rep.” This gets me started. And then, once I’ve done the one rep, I move onto the second rep, which is easier because the momentum has taken over. I say to myself (“do another rep"), and the third (“and another rep”), and then before I know it I’m half way done (“keep going, you’ve got this”), and then I’m suddenly more than half way done (“might as well keep going, you’re almost there”), and then once I get to 15, (“what’s one more, you can do it.”). I push out one last rep to grow on to allow for progressive overload (which is essentially what helps you get stronger).
Boom. Done. One rep at a time.
Then, I go onto the next set, and the next, doing the same self-talk, focusing in on the moment, taking it one rep at a time, until I get to the end of the set. Before I know it I’ve finished my workout.
Now, why am I sharing this with you?
I’m sharing it because frankly, I think this voice deserves a spot at the table when it comes to talking about regular exercise as a way to promote mental health. The reality is sure there are people out there who live and die at the gym and absolutely love it. As I said before, it's not impossible to enjoy it as it gets a lot of great brain chemicals going and can feel very good, even in the moment. What I would argue is there are far more people who struggle with it every step of the way, even experts, even athletes. More people who think it is hard, who sometimes dread it, and do it anyways.
I can only speak for myself: I don't exercise because it’s easy for me, or because I always enjoy it, or because it’s a habit I don't have to think about. I do it because I know it’s good for my body and mind, and I’m a better mom, a better therapist, a better human being, when I am regularly tending to my health.
That's it.
It's not riveting but it is accurate.
I think if more people talked about how hard it is to get themselves to exercise, and that they don't always enjoy it, but do it anyways despite all that, maybe people would see it as more attainable? I just don't think you have to morph into someone who loves the gym like that fake looking guy on social media smiling for the camera while he shows off his muscles. You don't have to be awesome at it, or even like it, to get it done and reap the mental health benefits.
So if you want to start a work out regimen, but you’re putting off because you’re waiting for the day when you spring out of bed, excited and exhilarated to get to it, you may never begin because that day may never come.
Exercise may never be something you love or look forward to-- AND it doesn't have to be.
Push through all that shit and do it anyway by using mental toughness strategies like self-talk and mindfulness. You deserve to treat your mind and body well.
Out.
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