I sometimes hear people speak about therapy as being less than valuable because, they say, it focuses on problems rather than solutions. I’ve even heard colleagues, who, in the midst of burnout and compassion fatigue, allude to the same. I hear their frustration and sense of dismay, as well as understand it is a large part of what deters many from seeking therapy to begin with. To those of you who believe, whether as a patient or clinician, that this is what therapy is about, I would say there is a strong likelihood you are missing a vital part of the therapy process: action steps.
At the end of most therapy sessions, I will pose to my patient the following question: “What can you do in this next week to help yourself with ( fill in the blank ).” The “fill in the blank” could be any number of things. It could be referring to a therapeutic goal. It could be a new strategy for symptom management we covered that it is now on the patient to practice. It could be an insight they gained in session. It could be a relationship pattern the patient is wishing to change, or maybe it’s a healthy habit they want to adopt. The “fill in the blank" part is really of lesser significance than is the person’s plan towards how they are going to incorporate it into their life, and their intentionally committing to doing so. These are action steps and they are absolutely vital for change to occur. Action steps are where a person empowers themselves to take what they are learning in therapy sessions, and figure out how they will apply it to their life in real time. If there are no action steps forward, you will remain stuck in past mindsets, past experiences, past traumas, past behaviors. There must be action steps if you wish for your life to change.
I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge it is the action steps part of therapy that is, arguably, the hardest. The truth is therapists are not magicians. We do not have magic wands behind our backs that we can whip out and waive over your lives to change them. Once you've done exploration around your presenting issue, once you've dug deep, once you've uncovered your thoughts and feelings around the experiences that led you to therapy, and once you've gained insight into the "why" behind why you do what you do or believe what you believe, you will be left sitting in a sea of insight that leads you nowhere if your journey stops there.
Action steps.
This is how people achieve their goals.
This is how people change.
If you've been in therapy for awhile and your life is not changing in some meaningful way, the missing culprit is likely "action steps", and nobody can can take them but you.
Email me at carrie@carriemosko.com to start taking action today. Currently accepting new patients under Medical Mutual, Aetna, United Health Care, and private pay. Sliding scale available. Offering weekend appointments. Telehealth/virtual appointments only.
Out.
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